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Chuck Norris Facts from: chucknorrisfacts.com
Newton’s Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
Faster than a speeding bullet … more powerful than a locomotive … able to leap tall buildings in a single bound… yes, these are some of Chuck Norris’s warm-up exercises.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Contrary to popular belief, the Titanic didn’t hit an iceberg. The ship was off course and accidentally ran into Chuck Norris while he was doing the backstroke across the Atlantic.
Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.
While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.
The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks.
When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear.
Chuck Norris got his drivers license at the age of 16. Seconds.
Nothing can escape the gravity of a black hole, except for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris eats black holes. They taste like chicken.
Chuck Norris’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Outer space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
With the rising cost of gasoline, Chuck Norris is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.
Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
Chuck Norris does not style his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.
Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.
Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are known today as Giraffes.
Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
If at first you don’t succeed, you’re not Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris CAN believe it’s not butter.
Try typing ‘Where Chuck Norris Is’ On Google, then click ‘I’m Feeling Lucky.’